Bittersweet by Susan Cain: Book Review

I am an introvert. I always have been, and I don’t intend to change it. Not anymore, at least.

If you’re an introvert, you might have experienced the difficulty of “fitting in.” When people around you are energized by the overwhelming social gathering, you feel drained in the crowd. You’d rather curl up on your couch with a book and your dog. Just like me.

You see, I have always found it hard to fit in, whether it's parties or social events. People often mistake introversion for ‘shyness’ or ‘lack of confidence.’ Little do they know the power of introversion—the power of quiet introspection.

If you are in a profession such as sales, your woes multiply by 10. In sales, introversion is unacceptable—a role that deals with understanding people and solving their problems and demands a lot of socializing. Early in my career, that’s what I believed. Time, however, has changed my perception.

I now can confidently say that introversion is actually a superpower in sales. You cannot be a great salesperson or even a colleague if you cannot be quiet and listen intently. Not just what they are saying but also what they are not. Introverts play that part very well.

My understanding of introversion wasn’t gained just like that. I stumbled on a TED Talk by Susan Cain on the Power of Introverts—Watch Here. My journey of understanding introversion began there. Ever since, I have read a few books and put some advice into practice that helped me discover abilities that I did not know I already had. Anyway, ever since I watched that TED Talk, I have been an ardent Susan Cain fan. Maybe I should start a Susan Cain Fan club. LOL. BTW, she also authored the book 'Quiet,' which aligns with her TED Talk. 'Quiet' has been on my TBR list—but still have not read it. Will soon, though.

Anyway, I did manage to read her second book, ‘Bittersweet,’ though. I had pre-ordered it. I am glad I did. Susan Cain is the type of author that is rare. She is thoughtful, knowledgeable, and articulate. The best part is her ability to convey delicate and sensitive topics simply but intelligently. At the same time, her tonality is warm and keeps you indulged – writing or speaking.

What is Bittersweet?

I certainly enjoyed the whole concept and the book itself. I felt connected to the book and particularly to the concept of bittersweetness itself. A concept that most of us are familiar with, but if asked to be vulnerable and open up about, perhaps would hesitate. In other words, the bittersweetness in the book relates to the melancholy of the poets, the artists, the Sufis, and the leaders. It’s the longing that drives the vision and empowers to look for answers that often transform into amazing art, monuments, statues, poetry, songs, and even movements. Susan narrates how she realized that she was uplifted by the melancholic music of Leonard Cohen during her college days and found it uplifting.

She chooses to further explore the mysterious property of that melancholy, that sorrow—that longing, that yearning—that strangely uplifts her. As I read along, to my amazement, I learned that this melancholy is common amongst some well-known names that changed the course of history—Abraham Lincoln, Charles Darwin, Jalal al-Din Rumi, Maya Angelou, Nina Simone, and Leonard Cohen. But what does bittersweetness do, and how does it empower? How is sadness powerful, if at all? Intriguing, isn’t it?

In the rest of the book, she beautifully builds the case for the power of ‘bittersweet’—the ability it gives to transform our pain into something more—an art, a poem, a melody, a vision that can change the course for the one and the many. The book is brimming with imagery of how people in old and modern times who seemed nothing short of doom responded through the ability of this bittersweetness that lived within them—the longing to be elsewhere in a different promised land and turned hopelessness into hope.

Here’s a quote from BitterSweet that really stood out for me—it’s an obvious truth but at the same time surprisingly illuminating especially when you consider what if we did not have this ‘bittersweet’ element within us. 

“If we don’t transform our sorrows and longings, we can end up inflicting them on others via abuse, domination, neglect.”